…joy comes in the morning

It has been hard for me to sit down and write this update. It’s not because I have nothing to share; I just find it difficult to write when things are going well. I don’t feel the compulsion to define my feelings or analyze the problem or even just journal my thoughts that I have when things are hard. Also, if I write when things are going well, it feels like I am bragging or gushing, which I try to avoid. So it’s been hard to sit down and write, and I’m sorry for taking so long.

I feel like we are on the mountain, the sweet spot, the culmination of almost every longing we have had over the years.  We’ve been in Georgia as long as we were in Texas last year, and the difference between our situations could not be greater. John’s job, our house, our location within a day’s drive to both our families, and our emotional and mental states of stability and contentment are all so positive it probably seems like I am writing a facebook status post about my fake-perfect life.

We wouldn’t feel this way now, though, without having gone through difficult times that give us a clearer vantage to appreciate our blessings. And I know the biggest danger in this season of blessing is for us to cling to this moment, this job, this house, this place as a sort of earthly Promised Land. Without growth, and especially growth in our faith, we won’t be happy because we will start to depend on ourselves and our situation instead of God. So this year my goal is to grow, not cling to comfort, and try to avoid the trap of complacency that turns to ungratefulness and bitterness.

Frederick Douglass wrote, “If there is no struggle, there is no progress.” God strengthens our faith by challenging it. I have been praying for growth, but unable to see what new faith-challenging struggle it could come from in my peaceful life right now. Recently, however, I think God has been starting to show me the next season of my life. It was hard to recognize because it looks different from the dramatic and scary ones of the last fifteen years: infertility, special needs parenting, grief, parenting mixed with more grief, fostering, and most recently, uprootedness. I think the next season is going to be more about steady plodding, about persevering in the daily-ness, especially about struggling to parent, homeschool, and follow Christ biblically. In some ways it is going to be harder than my previous seasons because it does not call for faith in the short-term crisis, but rather faith amid the long slog. It’s about trusting that all the drops of water will add up to an ocean someday. Many of you have been in this season a long time. It’s not a faith challenge to be taken lightly, as I am starting to perceive.

So some of the big news of the last few months… We celebrated our 20^th anniversary with a cruise around the Mediterranean with our best friends and lots of board games. We saw beautiful places, ate amazing food, and learned a lot of interesting history, but the most precious part of the cruise was spending the time with the fantastic husband whom I belong to and who belongs completely to me.

We joyfully celebrated Valor’s new life with his baptism on March 10. What an incredible gift. My parents and aunt and uncle were able to come for it.

All the kids are doing well. Valor is inquisitive, steady, and chipper; Percy is becoming more confident and continues to be somewhat volcanic and very creative; and they are both attentive and kind big brothers. Mystery loves doing jigsaw puzzles, singing CC songs like Latin declensions, and dancing and swinging and all other kinds of physical activity. I tried potty training her recently, but it did not click for her yet. I think it will, soon. As she nears her third birthday she is getting more temperamental, but she is still way more compliant than Percy was.

There has been one difficult thing this spring, which has been that one of the grandparents has begun spiraling into dementia. John’s stepmom has been nothing but a blessing to our family since she married John’s dad in 2002, and we love her so much. Our longtime followers might remember that she would stay up all night with our son James, caring for him joyfully, and even more so with John’s dad in the years after his stroke. Well, after some troubling events we had to come together with her kids to abruptly pull her out of her independent retired life and settle her into a situation where they could take care of her and keep her safe from herself and other people who were preying on her.

God and Betsy were honored in the difficult process; although she is angry and confused because she is unconscious of her mental problems, her kids have been dedicated, kind and respectful. John, as her financial Attorney-in-fact, has spent a lot of time shutting down elder scams and repairing her finances. We are thankful to be part of her family’s ongoing struggle to honor and protect her.

And finally, the biggest good news that I have been sitting on too long… God has blessed us with Baby #18, whom He has sustained for 23 weeks now! She is a girl and is due at the beginning of August! A friend asked me if the pregnancy was planned, and I told her it was not exactly planned (because for us to plan to have a kid is kind of a joke by now), but very much hoped for. We were hoping God had another child for us, but we were ready to accept His answer if it was no. So far it looks like she is beautiful, perfect, and active. I am particularly excited about a little sister three years younger for Mystery.

When we started talking about names, we knew we wanted to capture the sense of God’s abundant goodness to us, His kindness and generosity, in giving us (us!) yet another child. Some of the names we joked around about were Superfluous Gjertsen, Overflow Gjertsen, Pressed-down-and-shaken-together Gjertsen. We aren’t going to end up with any of these, but they kind of tell you how we are feeling. The Lord has done great things for me!

In case you are curious about what we have chosen for the name, you are welcome to dive into John’s name reveal puzzle, which will be posted in the next few days. Anyone who can solve it will get the name early, but please keep it a secret if you do!