hello and goodbye, again

May 17

Dear Red and Nemo,

I am praying big things for you guys. That your lives will redound to the glory of God, that your voices among the millions on earth will speak His words, that you will fear God and love His ways.

Red, you didn’t look great coming out of the freezer, but God can do anything, and He can make up for our lack, so trust Him.

Nemo, you are not “no one” to us, and especially not to God! Grab on and implant, kid! Jesus is your great hope.

love, Mom

May 24

Dear Little Red and Nemo,

I hope you are cozy and happy in my womb, digging in and putting down roots to stay awhile. I get anxious and worry that you’ve fallen out or been flushed into oblivion from time to time, but I have to remind myself that your precious eternal souls will never be lost. They are held perfectly safe in the Father’s hands.

I am trying to stay busy so i don’t worry in the time until the pregnancy test. Planning Percy’s dinosaur birthday party. Teaching Valor about coins and counting money. Cooking and cleaning, shopping and projects.

We sure hope you both make it. Test tomorrow morning!

love, Mom

May 25

Dear Red and Nemo,

This morning we got a faint second line on the pregnancy test! Somebody, maybe both of you, stuck the landing and are being sustained by the Father! John prayed, “Thank You, God. We know we have a long road ahead of this pregnancy, and that it is in Your hands, but we say Thank You for this miracle of life for both or one of the embryos.”

We hope that one or both of you will enter the House of Gjertsen in January 2015!

love, Mom

May 29

Dear Red and Nemo,

Two days ago I took a second home pregnancy test, expecting a darker line since I would be farther along. Instead I got a very faint line, even fainter than the first test’s. My heart sank and we began to consider that you might not have made it for the long haul, after all. We’ve been anxiously awaiting the results of the blood test. We’re praying you stay with us, but if not, the Father has you.

love, Mom

May 30

Dear Little Red and Nemo,

The first blood test was a 17, which is a foggy place between not pregnant and pregnant. A bad place. So yesterday we knew that we’ve probably had a very early miscarriage. This morning the home test I took was negative. So it’s over. You guys are home with the Lord, now.

This is great gain, to be at home with the Lord, but we feel your losses keenly. We are sad and confused and disappointed, but as your Dad prayed this morning, we ask God to rebuild our broken hearts with the hope of the gospel. God has a good plan.

Goodbye, sweet little ones. We are so grateful to be your parents. We hope you learn and flourish under the Sun of heaven, becoming everything the Father created you to be. Your parents, Valor, and Percy look forward to meeting you someday.

love, Mom and Dad

Red’s life verses: 2 Cor. 5:8-9, 17 (NIV)

We are confident, I say, and would prefer to be away from the body and at home with the Lord. So we make it our goal to please him, whether we are at home in the body or away from it.
Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, that person is a new creation. The old has gone, the new is here!

Nemo’s life verses: Romans 11:33-36 (ESV)

Oh, the depth of the riches and wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable are His judgments and how inscrutable His ways!
“For who has known the mind of the Lord, or who has been His counselor?”
“Or who has given a gift to Him that he might be repaid?”
For from Him and through Him and to Him are all things. To Him be glory forever. Amen.